the sweet little hut..

 

kiss..

"Dear my dearest things in my dear room.. I've been treating you like I treat the boytoys.. but I gotta get rid of you all.. sorry.. not enough space.."

so true..

this time.. don't have a living room and kitchen..

this one.. the smallest room I've ever rent..

and now..

am in the process of sorting my things..

it is def hard to choose which ones should be kept and which should be given..

it is just like this life which ones should be maintained and which should be released..

"Dear Seminyak.. am back to the hood and life's so good.. can't wait for walking around with no bound.."

then somehow..

am so excited with the fact I'll back to my root.. 

moving moving.. Seminyak am sooooooo coming..

"Dear life.. now am simple.. single.. and ready to mingle.."

cheers,

KISS.. keep it simple stupid ;p

it was a sign..

why should I choose to fly back home?
and why should I cancel my trip? 
but then I think I need to change the plan..


why can't I be a selfish creature? 
and why the dream is just a dream? 
but then I think it's worth to wait..


for what it's best..



your daughter - lil sister - aunty,

no more marking the map until further notice.. 

I HEART YOU..

I love your passion and energy..

I also think sometimes you play at being harder than you are.. that's ok..

It means I think sometimes you like people to think you are tough and nothing bothers you.. 

but that's not always true and you some times want to be taken care of which is ok..

Sometimes I think you over do the drinking and smoking.. whatever the reason is I don't like it.. but it is what it is..

I know there is a deep side to you and I love that..

I've had more fun with you than just about anyone in my life..

but that said, you are a unique combination of a myriad different forces..

and I love the whole more than any of the individual parts..  

your view, perspective is much simpler, straight forward.. it is refreshing..

I've never hated you..

I love you..

but here's the thing..

I will tell you now as clearly as I can..

if I'm going to invest the emotional energy in caring about someone as far away and difficult as it will be for us, I want to know it is worth it..

I've told you what I think of you and how much I love you..

but when I see you act like that I begin to doubt whether it is worth it..

as I've said, you live on a party island, you meet a lot of people in a social, alocohol, sex, drug friendly environment..

I don't want to invest my heart in someone who plays in that world only to find out a few weeks, months, years, later that I was a fool and it wasn't worth it..

you or anybody else.. it makes no difference..

when I see you act like that, I begin to think, what she gonna do when I'm not here?

You get it?

another golden spot..

it was clear blue sky with white sand and crystal water ocean..

search trip..

somewhere to the south coast of the island..

reminiscing the gold old time..

shared the life love laugh..

happiness,

photo courtesy by svasti manggalia