I love your passion and energy..
I also think sometimes you play at being harder than you are.. that's ok..
It means I think sometimes you like people to think you are tough and
nothing bothers you..
but that's not always true and you some times want
to be taken care of which is ok..
Sometimes I think you over do the drinking and smoking.. whatever the reason is I don't like it.. but it is what it is..
I know there is a deep side to you and I love that..
I've had more fun with you than just about anyone in my life..
but that said, you are a unique combination of a myriad different forces..
and I love the whole more than any of the individual parts..
your view, perspective is much simpler, straight forward.. it is refreshing..
I've never hated you..
I love you..
but here's the thing..
I will tell you now as clearly as I can..
if I'm going to invest the emotional energy in caring about someone as far away and difficult as it will be for us, I want to know it is worth it..
I've told you what I think of you and how much I love you..
but when I see you act like that I begin to doubt whether it is worth it..
as I've said, you live on a party island, you meet a lot of people in a social, alocohol, sex, drug friendly environment..
I don't want to invest my heart in someone who plays in that world only to find out a few weeks, months, years, later that I was a fool and it wasn't worth it..
you or anybody else.. it makes no difference..
when I see you act like that, I begin to think, what she gonna do when I'm not here?
You get it?