APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Name of Girlfriend / Fiance / Wife : ______________________________
I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest authority in my life for the following period :
Date : ____________________________
Time of departure : ____________________________
Time of return : ____________________________
NOT TO EXCEED
Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the locations stated below, at the stated times. I agree to refrain from hitting on or flirting with other women. I shall not even speak to another female, except as expressly permitted in writing below. I will not turn off my mobile after two pints, not shall I consume above the allowed volume of alcohol without first phoning for a taxi and calling you for a verbal waiver of said alcohol allowance. I understand that even if permission is granted to go out, my girlfriend / fiance / wife retains the right to be pissed off with me the following week for no valid reason whatsoever.
Amount of alcohol allowed (units) :
____ Beer ____ Wine ____ Liquor Total
Location to be visited :
From __________________ To __________________
From __________________ To __________________
From __________________ To __________________
Females with whom conversation ____________________________
is permitted
is permitted
IMPORTANT - STRIPPER CLAUSE : Not withstanding the female contract permitter above, I promise to refrain from coming within one hundred (100) feet of a stripper or exotic dancer. Violation of this Stripper Clause shall be grounds for immediate termination of the relationship.
I acknowledge my position in life. I know who wears the trousers in our relationship and I agree it's not me. I promise to abide by your rules and regulations. I understand that this is going to cost me a fortune in chocolates and flowers. You reserve the right to obtain and use my credit cards whenever you wish to do so. I hereby promise to take you on an unlimited shopping spree, should I not return home by the approved time. On my way home, I will not pick a fight with any stranger, nor shall I conduct in depth discussions with the said entity. Upon my return waking you up, breathing my vile breath in your face and attempting to breed like a (drunken) rabbit.
I declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none compared to my BETTER half), the above information is correct.
Signed - Boyfriend / Fiance / Husband :
_____________________________________
Request is : ____ APPROVED ____ DENIED
The decision is not negotiable. If approved, cut permission slip below and carry all the times.
______________________________________________________________________
Permission for my boyfriend / fiance / husband to be away for the following period of time :
Date : ____________________________
Time of departure : ____________________________
Time of return : ____________________________
Signed - Girlfriend / Fiance / Wife
_____________________________________